It's like God shit irony all over that family
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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