so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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