Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize