At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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