His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
