I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
