Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
