you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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