I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
