ugly people sure do ruin things
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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