He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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