I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
