Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
