He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
