hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
