I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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