it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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