ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
