but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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