ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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