Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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