This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
