It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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