Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
