You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
