So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
