I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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