i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize