I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
