Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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