the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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