you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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