I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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