So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
