this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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