Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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