But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
