I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You are the jesus of drinking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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