So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't put those talents on a resume
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize