So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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