All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
