I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
