Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
