she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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