piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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