Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
