It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
