It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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