and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
