So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
