Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
