Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
