yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
