He is an equal opportunity slut.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
