I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
