I got chris browned last night
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
