then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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