I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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