Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
