Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
