I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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